Sunday, February 20, 2011

"hammer time!" written march 19 2010

Oh ..Hammer ....One day I had to email Malachi's teacher a note about him falling on the ice, and in the subject line I wrote " ice-ice-baby". She wrote back and said " haha- nice subject line, good memories" That's how I know she's cool.
! -Steve, Scott, Audrey , Becky-! Remember- we even saw Hammer in concert?! At cornerstone! Oh man...
He was Christian-Hammer by then, so he was yelling " say JEEEESUS!! (JESUS!)"
I just remember laughing really hard.......

i don't have a watch. And I don't carry a cell phone, so when I'm out walking with Violet in the stroller I need to know what time it is so I know when to pick up Ivan from school.
I can't stand wearing a watch though. Makes me feel claustrophobic. So I was trying to find one of those little key chain watches, but haven't had any luck. I mentioned it to my mom and she (of course) had a watch still in the package from like- 1990? A "Simpsons" watch. It's huge. It looks like a toy. And when you push one of the buttons it says " are we there yet?NO! Are we there yet? NO!" . Oh man...I love the simpsons... It's too big to even put on my wrist so I hang it on my stroller. I can't even believe the thing still works. However I can't seem to figure out how to change the time on it. But I figured out it was 1 hour and 13 minutes fast. So every time I had to check what time it was I had to do math. I hate math.
Thank goodness the time changed so now I only have to remember that it is 13 minutes fast. Still...MATH.

I have a problem with numbers. And therefore - clocks. I remember being really embarrassed by my inability to tell time. I mean- I understand the concept, I do, but it would just take me a long time to register the numbers, so I can't just glance at a clock. I swear I have number-dyslexia. EmilyAnne- didn't you find a REAL name for that once?
I swear. It's real. But I didn't know how to explain that to my mom and she just thought I was stupid for not knowing how to tell time and she was determined to teach me.
Once she bought me a watch for Christmas. It was really cool. The face was HUGE and it had piano keys instead of numbers. The only thing harder for me to figure out than the actual clock face is one that doesn't have numbers on it. So then I had to first IMAGINE the numbers, and then try to picture the time in my head. No teenager wants to have to look at her clock for 2 full minutes before answering someone's " what time is it?" because you just get flustered and red in the face and want to die.
I tried to tell my mom that I was not going to wear it. I mean- there is the claustrophobic factor (choking the life out of my wrist!) and then the whole..numbers... Part.
The thing is, if my parents pick out a gift, they are really convinced they picked out something awesome, so even if you try to gently tell them it's not something you're gonna They just won't take it back. They talk you into it.
So that stupid piano watch just sat in it's box for like 10 years making me feel guilty and stupid . No one got rid of it.
That explains why my mom kept a giant plastic simpsons watch from 1990.

So basically I never know for sure what time is it. So when I ask, please. Do not say " ten after!"

Or -remember the Philly girls- Audrey? What did they say? " ten-of" ? Or something like that? What does that even mean?! If I lived in Philly I would definitely never know what time it was. I'd miss everything.

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