Thursday, August 25, 2011

"This is the press of a bashful hand—this is the float and odor of hair;
This is the touch of my lips to yours—this is the murmur of yearning;
This is the far-off depth and height reflecting my own face;
This is the thoughtful merge of myself, and the outlet again."

walt whitman~ leaves of grass

"A child said, What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is, any more than he.

I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green stuff woven.

Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer, designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner’s name someway in the corners, that we may see and remark, and say, Whose?"

~walt whitman, leaves of grass

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

in response to the article "the reporter" ran

this is the article the paper ran:

this is what it SHOULD have said:

Explaining what is behind my paintings is deeply personal . i hesitate to tell too much of the story behind each piece because i want it to resonate with people as part of their own story not mine.

i've been painting professionally for 15 years, and while i love the challenge of creating custom pieces for people and collaborating with them in that process..
but it's the pieces I do for myself that are the most precious to me, and when someone else connects to those pieces it is always the most overwhelming and amazing feeling.
to do a solo show like this allowed me to paint solely for myself without a client in mind or any goal other than the working out of my own story
which is a very liberating wonderful thing, and also extremely terrifying! But I think allowing yourself to be vulnerable in your art is what draws others to it. People relate to that

I approach a series of paintings as an opportunity to tell a story. Which means I often paint the whole series in a marathon frenzy. this exhibit has 32 paintings in it and 21 of those were painted in 30 days time. I prefer to work that way , it's the same way a writer waits for inspiration and then locks themselves away until they get it all down on paper.
I really wanted to be honest with myself with this series. Shadow of the moon was inspired by something that tends to be a bit of a taboo subject for a lot of women. Isolation. I was really not intending to make that aspect of this story public..but in a conversation with a close friend, I was revealing a bit of what was behind some of these paintings and she encouraged me to share it openly because it's something that woman are often afraid to admit, we think if we talk about it it implies we are unhappy in our choices or regret the path we are on, and I don't think that's necessarily the case. there are many seasons in life, when you get married and have children you know you will be busy, but you never anticipate the level of isolation that can still come even during such a busy season of life.
My husband and I have three children. ages 9,7 and 3. Our oldest is Autistic which has obviously added another level of "busy" to our life. It's not something we were very open about initially because we do not want it to overshadow who he is or focus on any negatives. But it is a big part of our life and it is a challenge .It is often easier to stay home and not put our family " out there" . it's hard for us to make the time to pursue our hobbies or even time alone. for the first few years I really put my art on the back-burner and didn't feel like I could give my energy to that AND my children.I went through a time when I really questioned if pursuing painting was a valid endeavor. And it occurred to me that there is unnecessary beauty in the world. God did not have to make it that way..he is an artist. It was a beautiful moment and sort of gave me that permission I was looking for. Painting is a passion and a way for me to pay homage to all that beauty around us.
I got to a point when I decided that it was a positive thing to show them that pursuing something you love is important. Instead of building my studio in the basement as we originally planned I took over our small sunroom so that I could create and still be accessible to them and also to let them be involved as well. All of the kids are very interested in art and often paint along side of me. But so far our oldest Malachi seems to be the most interested in being an artist. He is very talented and paints on his own, but also collaborates with me on paintings which has been a really special process and we both really enjoy it.
there are many seasons in life. I'm trying to be fully present in each one as they come, and learning that even though your journey is your own, you are not as alone as you think you are. What a beautiful thing

Friday, August 12, 2011

surprising generosity

this one time i was complaining on facebook about how i don't have a decent easel.
i have been using this old children's easel that is actually a chalkboard. it didn't even have a place to rest a canvas so I screwed a leftover chunk of wood to it from some broken something or other.

Then the other day the bottom piece broke and fell out, so it's quite precarious..might crumble any day.

It's also not big enough, so I put a piece of peg board on it to try to find more space for hanging things I'm working on.

I also bought this tiny umbrella one,

but found out quickly that it falls down constantly and is always crooked no matter how many times I adjust it. *sigh*

so my friend Kris said he could totally make me an easel. fantastic! but we didn't talk out the details yet...

so last night, Kris comes to my opening night of my exhibit and what does he bring me? the most kick-ass easel you have every laid eyes on.

I would have been happy with three barn boards nailed together. But no. he made THIS:

I can not even get over this amazing gift . I just keep staring at it. I don't even want to get paint on it it's so blasted beautiful
the pictures do NOT do it justice. it's incredible

shadow of the moon ~ opening night

i don't even have words really.
i was afraid no one would come and you all blew me away! so overwhelming to hear such heartfelt responses to my paintings. it's indescribable to put something so precious to your heart "out there" and have people connect to it.

I am humbled and lifted up all in one fell swoop!