Wednesday, October 31, 2012

why numbers don't matter

you know that person who says " I love to exercise! it gives me endorphins!" ? yeah. that's the person I imagine punching while I'm on the treadmill. I hate exercising. But I DO like to kick ass, and since I can't go about kicking random people's asses I kick my own. I'm most competitive with myself I guess. Which sort of makes me sound like I have multiple personalities ... for those of you give-er-uppers. for those of you who said " Oh I don't have the body for running" or " I have exercise-induced asthma" or " I would rather sit here"... here's a story for you. I was always the chubby one in the family. At age 9 I found out I had a hypo-thyroid. Meaning, my thyroid was sooo sleeeeeeepy *yawn* it could not be bothered.... so there's the chubby sibling syndrome..and then the thyroid..and then when I turned 21 - KABLAMO! hospitalization for acute pancreatitis. Triglycerides were 5,600. (the goal for trigs is 150) 5 days in ICU, two weeks in the hospital, 8 weeks of carrying around a backpack with an IV in my chest . No food or anything to drink for 8 weeks. not even a glass of water in 7 weeks. after countless diets and drugs and supplements and misery...we just kind of settled in to the fact that I was irreversibly screwed up.(physically! I mean PHYSICALLY!) even the drs were kind of like " got nothin' " at that time I was counseled to start exercising 1 hour a day (didn't happen) But this wasn't supposed to be a post about my pancreas, so forget about that for now. 2-3 years ago I was between 180-185 pounds. *gasp* A lady is not supposed to tell her weight! ok that's fine. I'm not a lady then. Because this is important- if you knew me 3 years ago you would not have guessed I weighed that much. It sounds really huge right? (this is one reason why numbers don't matter) so about 3 years ago I started running. I hated it. I am now up to running 2-5 miles 3x a week, pretty consistently for the past 2 years. 2 years ago I was wearing size 12 jeans. Yesterday I zipped up a size 8. EIGHT!!! a single digit!!! but here's the kicker- the scale still says 175. THIS my friends is why numbers suck. why you should not give them your time or your feelings. screw the numbers. my jeans ZIPPED UP. Did this change in 6 months? nope. it took me literally 2 years of sweating my ass off to drop a couple pants sizes and almost no weight loss (according to the scale) the happy news is, I no longer try to be in someone else's body (that's creepy) I am 5'3. I'm curvy. My belly grew three babies. My legs are muscular and can kick your ass. I can wear my clothes without feeling strangled. and My triglycerides have been 150 for over a year. Which is important. Because I need to be around for my kids, and I'm pretty sure the excuse of " it's too HARD!" would not stand up for them. it's hard. do it anyway. and ignore the numbers.