When I was a kid I was really freaked out about my parents going to sleep before I did. Something about it was so unnatural And anxiety-inducing. I knew they'd be going to sleep at some point of course, but falling asleep with them still awake made me feel like someone was in charge, keeping things in check, holding down the fort. I didn't want the responsibility of being the last one up and in charge of the household.
I sit here in the dark listening to the squeak of his bedroom swing. I wait for it to quiet before I allow myself to get in bed. He will eventually fall asleep... But I hold down the fort until I know he is safely still .
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