"strange bedfellows" written march 19 2010

For some reason Violet decided she needed to read books at 1am last night.
I tried to convince her otherwise. ...but finally decided- one quick pictorial through " all about me" would not kill me. (ha!)
MY interpretation of " once" is not the same as hers. She was happily pointing at pictures and laughing ....and then I said - ok! Time to go back to bed! And she went from patting me lovingly on the shoulder, kissing me and saying " hiiii momma!" to demon-screaming-voice in 2 seconds flat.
She threw the most insane fit. I was dumbfounded. She cried so hard and so loud that Ivan woke up and walked Down the stairs all confused and miserable. Poor kid.
I let him crawl in bed with us and he said " why is Violet crying??" and I said " It's ok Ivan, she just doesn't want to go to sleep, but she'll stop" . He said miserably " But she CAN'T STOP!" . Ohhh poor sad Ivan.
Of course I had to let him sleep with us then, which means that about 20 times a night I will wake up with his foot on my face, or my neck....I have just never seen a kid move that much in his sleep. And why is it always feet by my face? Does he do it on purpose??
I figured Vi would just give up , she'd see I wasn't coming back in and she'd give up.
Yeah right.
That stinker screamed and yelled for... I don't know how long...(approximately 500 days I think) I finally had to get her up and let her sit on the chair in the pitch black living room to convince her it was indeed- NIGHT. She kept telling me " I sad!" in a pathetic voice. I said " yeah. I know. I'm sad too. I want to sleep"
There is something about a kid screaming and yelling at 2 am that actually makes you want to spank them. - (Please don't call social services! We don't spank our kids. I'm against it. Ask Jesse.) I did NOT spank her, I'm just saying, that when you're being woken from a sleep the first thing you think is " I want to spank your butt" . It's not just Violet either- When Jesse's snoring wakes me up I consider spanking HIM. That man can bring a snore that invades my dreams.
I was dreaming the other night and I just kept hearing this jolting honking noise in my dream and it was making me NUTS and I woke up and realized- it was Jesse. Snoring. Something like the sound of a bad deer call.
Have you ever heard a deer call? Imagine waking up with that next to your head. You'd spank him too.
I didn't spank him. But I DID kick and shove him until his rolled onto his side and stopped the weird honking/growling combo that was happening.
He also does this weird thing that whenever I get up he immediately senses I'm gone and rolls onto my side of the bed. I'm convinced this is intentional because even if I'm up for 20 seconds- BOOM! He's there.
Oh, and last night his big toenail scratched me in the leg. For Pete's sake Jesse! Cut your nails! Use a nail file! I feel like I'm sleeping with a dalmatian.