let's be friends

my 4 year old likes to stay up till 11pm talking to stuffed animals and watching netflix on the ipad.
she has the humor of an adult, but careful- she's a landmine and cries if you look at her cross-eyed.
she has the greatest giggle ever and she tells me she loves me 3,000 times a day. She loves to snuggle and is kind to everyone . but when  her brother bugs her she will charge like a rhino.
she eats about 10 things . that's it. she doesn't like to try new things. she thinks icecream heals wounds.
she likes to do anything her brother does.
she likes video games and drinks nothing but applejuice.

my 8 year old is afraid of black holes, clowns, spiders, math, deep water, natural disasters, heights, and the dentist. sometimes he carries a flashlight around "just in case".
he cries easily and it's a very loud screamy wailing cry they can hear in other galaxies. He hates fiction and loves to learn REAL things. He's extremely creative and talks A LOT. his favorite color is currently the brightest neon green there is. he is an adventurous eater. he loves his cousin. he loves legos. he loves video games, they also plague his life.

my 11 year old is never mean on purpose. he is highly motivated by other's feelings and does not ever want to make anyone sad or mad. he likes quiet. he likes it when other's follow the rules and do not upset anyone. he loves animals and is not afraid of any bugs. he will catch them and let them free outside. he likes movies and games because they are things that are already scripted out and he can follow along free of stress. he likes to anticipate things, he does not like surprises. he still snuggles with me and tells me he loves me every night. he likes to swing on the swings higher than anyone else and let go for a moment so he can float. he hates when people change things in  his routine, he hates when people talk about private or gross things. he hates waiting his turn . he hates it if he thinks he's not being listened to or understood.

he likes to paint and draw and he loves to tell jokes because he likes making people happy. he doesn't care what is "cool" he still appreciates shows he likes when he was a little boy. 

he loves video games, they also plague his life. 

i don't feel like i know what's going on. i don't feel capable. i have a phobia of paperwork and i hate making phone calls to people i don't know. sometimes i worry so much about other people that it makes me anxious and depressed. i worry about most things actually so i have learned to distract myself by Doing Things and Taking Care of People. my kids provide me with all that i can handle so it works out. 

painting makes me feel like myself again and i can float. i love art and colors and nature and music.

i am really bad at fitting everything in. i forget appointments and run out of time . i lose things. 

i hate bugs. i don't like too many noises at once. i'm not very good at making decisions. 

i'm a verbal processor so sometimes i have to talk about things A LOT to figure them out. 

i love the woods. i'm scared of deep water. (i'm scared of a LOT of things) i can't do math. 

letters and numbers always appear in color in my head. i love clothes. i like me when i'm running. i struggle with my weight. i feel lonely a lot. i love being a mom. i love being an artist. i suck at mostly everything else. i hate video games.  

i'm married to an ex skateboarder. i'm not completely sure who he is yet. i'm not sure if he knows either.