check out this momma's blog

wow do I relate to this statement!
..going to bookmark her blog..

"I have read stories of parents of autistic children "mourning the child they never had." While I never personally experienced that specific issue -- I've never expected A. to be anything than what she is, I never felt like I "lost" anything by having her, and I think she's pretty downright amazing, honestly -- but I think I might be suffering from something similar. I think I'm mourning the mother I never was."

http://community.advanceweb.com/blogs/ot_9/default.aspx